5 Ways to Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
To build a healthy relationship with yourself is the foundation of any other relationship you’ll maintain in life. Without it, no relationship with anyone or anything will flourish. It will improve your relationships with others. Conway compared it to the safety instructions on airplanes: Put on your oxygen mask before putting it on anyone else, even a child.
It took me a long time to realize that the bulk of my problems in the past have stemmed from the absence of a relationship with myself. I often sought completion from other people, and I stayed in destructive relationships, because I feared being alone. Destructive relationships were a blessing in disguise—they made me realize that I didn’t love myself enough, and that my relationship with myself was almost non-existent.
Oftentimes, we place pressure on our family, friends, and lovers to “be better” or to make us happier—but the truth is, we’re indirectly asking them to fill a void that’s within us. However, I don’t need anyone to complete me now; I only seek people who can appreciate my completeness and share their own with mine.
But first, what does a healthy relationship with yourself look like?
Stephanie Kang believes that a healthy relationship consists of making room for all of you—including your insecurities and imperfections. You have a “sense of wholeness and the feeling that you’re free to be your true self…”. It simply means considering yourself, every day. That consideration includes self-care, self-respect, goodwill and self-love. It involves knowing your motives, intentions, needs and examining your actions and your whys—why do I feel the way I feel? —and making appropriate adjustments or changes.
But how to build a healthy relationship with yourself ?
Building a healthy relationship with yourself is an ongoing process—again, just like any relationship. Below, you’ll find a list of 5 ways to build a healthy relationship with yourself every day.
1.Prioritize basic self-care
Sleep, nutrition, working out, rest are the foundations of sustainable self-care. These are the very basic behavioral building blocks which constitute having a good relationship with oneself. Take care of yourself by showing some love and affection to your body, by giving yourself treats every day, such as a walk in the park, a small bar of chocolate or a long bath and by eliminating what doesn’t serve you and nurturing what makes you happy and healthy.
2. Practice positive self-talk
You should reflect on all the good relationships you’ve maintained in your life. How do you treat and talk to your best friend, or your partner, or your pet? Treat yourself the same. Talk to yourself the same. Imagine yourself as a person you admire, someone who wants to give all the love in the world to others. Pay attention to what you regularly tell yourself. Pay attention to what you say when you’re facing a challenge or a stressful situation. If you tend to speak harshly to yourself (out loud or in your head), when you notice you are doing that, learn to interrupt the action and take a reflective step back. Change this with some positive words that will make you feel good about yourself.
3. Meditate, meditate, meditate
I think that daily meditation is the most useful method, amazing gift you can give to yourself. In those moments between the thoughts, you allow yourself peace of mind that can carry you through even the most stressful days. By meditating, you’ll enter into a deep connection with yourself and you’ll be more aware of your inner world. You will relax, let go of all the anxiety and negative thoughts that you have and you will give yourself the space to discover and connect to what feeds you in mind, body and spirit.
You can learn how to meditate by simply typing “guided meditation” on Youtube, and you’ll find millions of videos to help you out. Choose one of them and then enjoy your relaxation. Don’t forget to meditate daily, as well!
4. Seek others who fit your goals
While trying to build a healthy relationship with yourself can be a little bit difficult, it can be so helpful to surround yourself with loving people and spend time with people who have healthy relationships with themselves. In addition to being around people who treat you well, it’s also so helpful to have relationships with others who also seek to have a good healthy relationship with themselves, both because they are good models, and also because you can support one another in your efforts. It’s impossible to completely avoid toxic people for most of us, so manage those relationships with care.
5. Be grateful
To build a good relationship with ourselves, we must honor the relationship we have with the universe. As you wake up (and before going to bed), pay gratitude to your existence. Being grateful opens you closed doors and allows you to accept the present moment for whatever it brings you.
Check out my post about “5 ways to show gratitude”
Our relationship with ourselves is the foundation for everything. It is the foundation for all other relationships in our lives. And you are the only person who will be with you for your entire life. So, it’s not an exaggeration to say that building a healthy relationship with ourselves is vital and worthwhile. Maybe even urgent.
