20 Life Lessons Learned in 20 Years of Life
So to celebrate my 20th birthday, I decided why not share with you guys my 20 life lessons learned in 20 years of life basically everything that life thought me and everything I learned from my twenties!
I definitely learned a lot of things in my life, I know I’m still young, don’t ever underestimate the age, okay but I defiantly learned a lot of things even though I’m still young, there are so many life lessons that you can learn at a very young age some of them are professional, some of them are personal. And I think it would be a perfect idea to share my life lessons and talk about my experiences on my blog and on my YouTube channel. And I always think that reflecting about what I have learned is a wonderful process in itself and it’s definitely helpful because people get to learn from my mistakes and I get to learn from your mistakes!
And I have a favor to ask you so as you’re watching my life lessons, think about yours! What are the lessons that you have learned in your lifetime? And comment them down below. And don’t be afraid to share them because here on my blog because I’m trying to build a community that it’s all about sharing positivity, kindness, love and respect, it’s all about expressing freely who you are without being judgmental or mean to each other!
So here are my 20 life lessons learned in 20 years of life
1. You’ll always get what you’re committed to getting.
I’ve just learnt this lesson recently this year. I spent most of my life being busy. And I’d complain about not having enough time to do the things I said I wanted — hang out with friends, work out every day, finish projects, do fun things, go on adventures. I said I wanted all those things, but it turned out I wasn’t committed to having any of them. I was committed to being busy. So I’d always be busy, just super busy on my studies and my exams (which is absolutely a good thing. I’m not saying don’t work on your studies and your exams, what I’m saying is don’t spend all your time on your studies, don’t be too busy on your studies so that you forget about your social life, about your health cuz I used to do that, I used to be so busy… But once I realized this, I started to create this balance between the things I used to “have no time” for and the things that I used to spend all my time doing (aka my studies). I used to ask myself questions like “How I’m gonna make friends? How I’m going to finish this projet? How I’m gonna do this? How I’m gonna do that? Now I know that answer to all these HOW questions is simply committement. So just Commit to what you want and “the how” will figure itself out. Don’t let the “unknown how” prevent you from taking a step forward. Sometimes “the how” is just behind the next step.
2. Get clear on what you want.
When you are clear on what you want, you’ll get it. Clarity is the access point to creating and living a life that fulfills you and delights you every day. This is one of the hardest lessons, because getting to be clear on what you want will actually make you think about what you want and go through some deep introspective reflection. But once you do discover what you want, life will become so much easier. What I mean by getting so clear on what you want for example get clear on what you want in your partner, what you want to do in your life, what you want to be when you grow up. Just simply choose what you are willing to commit to, and your life will be so much easier because you have a clear vision of what you want in your head.
3. Gratitude has the power to transform your life.
Gratitude is one of the powerful ways to instantly change how you feel. By expressing gratitude every day, you will acknowledge the things that you have, recognize the positives. It will put you in a positive mindset and helps you create more of the good stuff in life. Trust me, once you’ll start practicing being grateful, good things will start happening, like magic. Because the more we express our gratitude, the more things we will have to be grateful for. So just focus your attention on the many great things you have and you are grateful for, and you will see that the more you do that, the more reasons you will have to express your gratitude for.
4. Daily positive Affirmations changed my life
I talk about positive affirmations probably in every video I make. Hhh Here is why: I believe in the power of positive affirmations. I tried them two years ago and I haven’t stopped it since then because they have worked for me. Before I used to hear a lot of people (personal coaches on youtube, some writers as well) keep saying that positive affirmations change the relationship they have with themselves completely. And I was like: ”Okay, I’m gonna try it and see what’s gonna happen.” So since I used to hate my body, and who I was; I started repeating every morning some positive, loving reminders like “I am beautiful”, “Everything about my body is lovable”, “I love myself”, “I believe in myself” etc. Trust me, by doing this every day, I really started gaining confidence in myself and in my body. Positive affirmations definitely changed my life in the most positive way and helped me become the person I’ve always wanted to be.
5. Take care of yourself by yourself
I think it’s important for you to understand that you need to stop waiting for other people to take care of you, and start taking care of your own self because you can handle it yourself. Stop waiting on others to compliment you, Compliment yourself. Stop waiting on others to support yourself, support yourself. Just treat yourself like you would treat others. Just be there for yourself like you’d be there for your friends or your family members. Treat yourself to activities that make you feel sexy and confident. Apply makeup. Do your hair. Do your nails. Just do anything that will make you feel good and make you feel like you’re taking care of yourself. Buy yourself some gifts, take yourself out on dates, go to a spa. Taking care of yourself and having a me time is really important. I don’t know about your schedule whether you’re working or you’re studying 8+ hours a day, whether you spend 2+ hours a day with your friends, or you spend 2+ hours a day on social media, why can’t you save 2 hours or at least 1 hour a day to take care of yourself? To make sure that you are the best version of yourself? To spend time with yourself too? Just think about it! It’s really important.
6. Don’t live under pressure
I know that I’m not the only one here who have experienced stress in my life. And I’m certainly not that kind of person who loves to work under pressure. Because it’s easier for me to focus and work when I feel light and relaxed. And I personally perform better without pressure. I don’t know but Pressure can really weigh you down. Sometimes it can feel like you are carrying a big rock on your back. It will make you feel so stressed and anxious, and over time, maybe you will have a burnout. And I used to put myself a lot under pressure even though I hated pressure. I used to force myself I should do this, I must do that, I have to do that. And that pressure was really getting the best of me; and I ended up doing nothing. Now I learned to not live under pressure, cuz it’s absolutely useless and it’s not helping me to do what I want. And to not be hard on myself!
7. Happiness First
I used to think that I need to work really hard to be successful and that will make me happy. But now, I know that success doesn’t make me happy; being happy brings me success. I used to think that: When I get good grades, then I’ll be happy. When I will start making money, then I’ll be happy. When I will finish my studies, then I’ll be happy. I had it all wrong. You can’t wait for happiness. You have to create happiness and it has to come before anything else because happiness brings you success, it makes you more productive and it is the foundation for everything in your life. And don’t be looking for happiness in materialistic stuff and don’t be waiting on other people to make you happy. Find it yourself, create it yourself! And don’t be waiting for the perfect moment to do so, do it now! In this way, I have chosen to make happiness my life’s starting line.
8. It’s good to be different
Growing up I always thought I was weird; I was the only one in my friends who never had a boyfriend, I was the only one who loved listening to old music like Jazz and Blues, I was the only one in my class wearing super classy clothes. And I felt like I was so weird and different from my classmates, from others teenagers who were my age. I felt like I couldn’t fit in. And for a long time I tried to pretend I wasn’t weird. I faked my way through conversations about the latest ‘cool’ bands and I pretended to like going to nightclubs even when I would much rather be watching a movie in my house and sleep early. I lied about having a boyfriend. I pretended I was someone else, someone who wasn’t me. And it took me years and studies in Psychology to learn how to love the fact that I was different and how to embrace it. Now I understand that being different is important in order to stand out and make sure you live your life doing what you love. And that in order to be happy; you gotta do what you love no matter what, and learn to be proud of everything that makes you different. Because trying to be someone else can destroy any unique talent that you have and make you lose and forget who you are. You don’t have to follow the crowd just because it seems like the most normal thing to do. And it will take a lot of courage to do that.
9. Get out of your comfort zone
If someone has ever told that life begins at the end of your comfort zone, just know that he’s totally right. Here is why: It’s much easier to remain within the boundaries of where you feel comfortable than it is to face your fears and do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. However, if you stayed in your comfort zone, you will definitely miss out so many life experiences, professional opportunities and the beginning of good relationships. All I’m saying is that your resistance to change and go out of your comfort zone is what keeps you from getting what you want in life. That feeling of discomfort that you feel when you are out of your comfort zone will develop courage that will allow you to do more, see more, and be more. That feeling of discomfort is part of learning. It is part of growth. This discomfort means that you are building the muscles you need to grow. If something is challenging you, it is pushing your boundaries and that is often a good thing. Nothing good ever came from staying within boundaries. Always be curious! Always discover new things! I always love to experiment. I love to try new things out. This love of experimenting is what led me to start my blog and my YouTube channel in the first place.
10. Love yourself, befriend yourself first
You will act on that belief and people will treat you based on what you think about yourself, based on how you treat yourself and based on how you act and behave in the world. If you love yourself, chances are that others will love you also. It’s all about self-love, it all starts with self-love. If you don’t have the love for yourself, how can you expect to get it from somebody else? Love yourself and others will love you also.
11.Learn to appreciate being alone
Wayne Dyer talks about this in such a wonderful way, saying that we can never be lonely if we like the person we’re alone with. If you like yourself, if you have no problem with your own person, if you have accepted yourself completely, you will be content with having some quiet time, away from all the noise. You will feel happy when alone and also when surrounded by other people. It took me years to get to know the difference between loneliness and solitude, between being lonely and being alone. And it took me years to learn how to appreciate and enjoy my own company. And to understand that I am good enough all by myself. When you’re alone, remind yourself that it’s because you choose to be. It really is a choice. You take advantage of it to get in touch with your inner self, to meditate and to quiet your mind, and that constant need to be around others in order for you to no longer feel lonely, will disappear.
It’s very easy to find someone to spend time with, but when you have high standards for the people you allow into your life, you’re telling yourself that you’re better off by yourself than with someone who isn’t a great fit for you.
12. Outside circumstances are usually a reflection of our inside.
Remember that our thoughts are our reality, what we think about ourselves and our lives becomes the truth for us. If you think negative about yourself and about your life, you will only see negative and live negative things. However, if you think positive about yourself and about your life, you will only see positive, live and experience positive things. For example if you think all men are cheaters, you will only get and attract men that are cheaters. Negativity could never affect us unless there was negativity inside of us in the first place. So if you want to change your life, try to change your thoughts and yourself first and get rid of this negativity inside of you.
13. Learning to say NO and being assertive is so important
Determining my personal boundaries and becoming assertive have given me clarity and strength to make difficult decisions, like ending toxic relationships, living a life true to myself and changing my priorities.
Being assertive is when you confidently express your needs and opinions in a fair, honest and calm way while still considering the needs and views of other people. So it doesn’t make you a mean person or a selfish person. Not at all, and the reason why I consider being assertive an important skill is because it allows you to stand up for yourself, say “no” without feeling guilty, express your wants, needs and opinions without being rude or selfish. You’ll boost your self-esteem, you’ll boost your self-confidence. You’ll gain people respect and you’ll have a healthy relationship with yourself and eventually have healthy relationships with others.
14. How other people judge us is none of our business. We won’t please everyone anyway.
I spent my teen years and early twenties worrying about what other people thought and said about me. I was so afraid of people judging me and criticizing me. But later in life I realized that it could only affect me if I allowed it to. What other people say or think of us is a reflection of them—their values, expectations, insecurities, and standards—and has nothing or very little to do with us. People who are wise and know who we truly are will not judge us, as they see and know our essence. And those who don’t, we can’t control their thoughts and actions.
15. Not everyone you’re going to meet is going to be your friend
Not everyone is going to like you and be your friend. Just think about how many people you’ve met in your life and many you’ve talked to; are they all your friends? Of course not. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they’re there for you. Just because they say they got your back doesn’t mean that they are your real friends. Doesn’t mean that you should rely on them. Doesn’t mean that you should trust them. Just because you have a good time with them doesn’t mean that you should call them “friends”. Remember, you can’t be friends with everyone. And that’s totally normal. It has nothing to do with you and it is not your fault. This is just how life is meant to be.
16. Comparing ourselves to others is the fastest way to feel anxious and unfulfilled.
It takes practice and self-love to be able to celebrate others’ success, especially when things are not going the way you want to in your own life. But understanding that we’re all on our own journeys has helped me stop comparing myself to others and instead be inspired by others’ journeys and success.
17. Nothing will last forever
We suffer when we identify with things, people, circumstances, situations, job titles, and relationship statuses. Because all those things have one thing in common: they don’t last forever. Everything has an ending. When we become attached to things or people, we begin to think that they belong to us. And when we begin to think that everything belong to us, we are setting ourselves up for pain, the pain of loss and separation and the realization that everything will go, sooner or later. It is really hard for us to understand and accept the truth; that everything has an ending and that nothing lasts forever. Even life itself gonna end one day. It was hard for me to accept this truth; because I wanted to make everything last: my relationships, my clothes, my money, my health. I thought that everything I have will be here forever. But finally, I realized that nothing really belongs to me. And if nothing belongs to me there’s no point wasting my time looking after things that aren’t mine or simply aren’t worth it. It’s best to live as if today were the first (or last) day of my life and to appreciate the present moment. Embracing the attitude that nothing belongs to me has been very liberating and has brought ease and joy to my life. Especially when it comes to relationships, if we want to change our relationship to happiness and break the attachment that causes pain, we need to understand that nothing lasts forever. And don’t cling to how strong they are now. Don’t allow yourself to believe your relationships now will be what they are in years to come. Instead, appreciate the people around you for who they are now, and be open to appreciating them for who they’ll become, too. As I said earlier, learn to live the present moment and live today as it was the first and last day of your life. And remember that the good news is that after every end, there is a new beginning to something else.
18. Invest in yourself
Investing in yourself is definitely one of the most profitable investments you ever make. Whether it’s investing in learning a new skill, developing yourself personally or professionally, tapping into your creativity or hiring a coach, you need to give to yourself first before you can give to others, you need to take the time to develop your gifts and talents, so that you can achieve a better quality life. Because the effort you put into consistently investing in yourself plays a large role in determining the quality of your life now and in the future. And remember, investing in yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially, will allow you to become the best version of yourself. When you are the best version of yourself, you will be an attraction magnet to others!
19. The road to success and making your dreams come true is very long road
Anything ever worth achieving does not come easy. I already know this before starting my journey; but I never get to really understand this after I started going after my dreams. When I first started my blog and when I created my YouTube channel, I thought I will gain views and subscribers so easily, but I was wrong. Being naturally bullish and impatiently ambitious, I always wanting to run before I could walk, hunting down bigger and better opportunities that would ultimately help me realize my dreams. And I’ve realized that having a blog or a youtube channel is like having a business. Now I realize that the road to my dream career is much longer and bumpier than I could possibly imagine. It is harder than what I expected it to be. You can easily lose your motivation, especially if yesterday did not bring you the progress that you were hoping to make. What I get to learn from this is that there is no real short cut to success; it requires you to take action daily, to be persistent and consistent in your efforts which is not always easy to do. And that whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck in a deep rut, stay focused on the end game. Believe in yourself, create a plan to make whatever changes are needed and never, ever – however tough things are right now – give up. It’s all part of the journey and you will make it in the end.
20. Choose your friends wisely
Truly one of my best life lessons learned within the past year. I used to have some friends who were really toxic, who manipulated me, who have used me for their advantage, who have mentally abused me. They really had a big negative impact on my confidence, my mental health and my feeling of self-worth. But once I started working on myself and especially when I started studying psychology, I learned a lot about narcissists, sociopaths and manipulative people. And then I found out that some of my friends were actually narcissists and pathological liars, that’s when I decided to end these toxic friendships and never repeat the same mistakes again. So if you are truly focused on improving yourself, you will drop certain friends out of your life for good. Consider this a good thing, because it means that you are becoming more self-aware of the person you are, and the person you want to become. You will also start becoming aware of the types of people you’re surrounding yourself with. You will start letting go of the negative friends and hanging around with like-minded people because it is the quickest way to developing yourself into the person you want to be. As Jim Rohn says; you become like the 5 people you hang out with most. The point is that hanging out with like-minded people is the best of developing yourself into the person you want to become, because they’re on the same journey as you and can share their knowledge. So chose your friends wisely!
